I’ve come across innumerable blogs that meticulously list out what guys find attractive in girls but (maybe I’ve been living under a rock for some time) rarely find the opposite and I have no idea why. As a girl, I can attest to the fact that we too, shock horror, have standards on what’s a turn on and what’s a turn-off and thought I’d make a start in levelling out the playing field a little. Just a couple of points to make before I barge into my onslaught:
– I am prepared for the hate mail I may receive after this post and am adequately armoured up. I am also secretly glad that my contact details aren’t listed on here for this very reason. I’m just kidding; I’ll just choose whether I approve your horrendously wicked comments. No, I promise I’ll approve them all unless they’re downright stalker-ish, tinkering on the “I’m going to slice you open” type.
– Girls, like boys (I presume) are unique and I am in no way suggesting that the following is the norm for all of us! After discussions with my female friends and family, this is just a general consensus on what drives us stark mad, both in a good and a bad way.
1. I like lean (not anorexic, so you look like you could hold my weight if I fall on you because I tend to trip a lot), muscular (I like defined abs and biceps to hold onto, shoot me) guys. Girls’ definition of lean and muscular seems to be exactly the opposite of guys it would seem, what most of us don’t want is for guys to look like that Action Figurine that fell out of my cereal box this morning, they’re scary – even when they are pint sized. A good rule of thumb is that anything more than a six pack is a no go zone because now boys, you look like an alien to me. I have enough trouble dealing with human males (as I am sure males do with human females) and unless you can do extra-terrestrial things that are good to me, like Superman does for Lois Lane, I’m not interested.
2. If you have a girlfriend, I am not in the least bit intrigued with you. No, even if you did think you caught me going all goo-goo eyes over you and are absolutely positive you overheard me going gaga over your suave self, you hottie. Nope, not interested; if you think it’s bros before hoes and we girls don’t have a snazzy little metaphor ourselves for you cheating, lying bastards, you’ve got another thing coming. Because now I think you have issues, and I have enough issues of my own to have to deal with yours. You like me, please be single and only interested in pursuing the matter with me. I’m not asking for marriage or anything (please don’t even think this, because now I think you have stalking tendencies and I have my last copy of a restraining order with a blank space ready to ink your name on it), but I seriously don’t think I’m asking too much for you to be interested in one girl at a time, that’s just normal.
3. Let’s get one thing straight, girls can never, and I mean never ever, have too many shoes, clothes, makeup, jewellery or diamonds. And no, diamonds are not jewellery; they’re too magnificently marvellous to be clubbed in with any other inanimate objects. We’re not really that different, it’s just our tastes vary; we have to live with the fact that you can never have too many PlayStation thing-ame-jigs, cars, beer, etc. – basically, so do you.
4. Please understand that though you may say you like the “natural” look, it ain’t natural in the literal sense. The natural look often takes more work than the done up look, so please don’t think this is how we wake up every morning. Though it may surprise you, we aren’t naturally tweezed, waxed & preened, so yes, at all times, it is going to take us more than five minutes to get dressed.
5. We like guys who look like guys. I don’t know when men got it into their heads that hair is a turn-off. What’s really off-putting is when I have to double book my waxer for you too, seriously WTF?!
6. If you’re a guy, please understand that your arrogance levels don’t have to directly correlate with how good looking you are. So you’re hot, big deal! Not to burst your bubble or anything, there are quite a few of you around. Yes, your good looks will get you in, but not for long. I’m interested for a certain amount of time, and you get lucky maybe sometimes, as long as you don’t open your mouth, but this is definitely not going to be a long term thing.
7. Please guys, don’t think that point 6 means that you don’t have to take care of yourself. If I have to at least try and look good, so do you because I want to feel proud hanging on your arm when I’m out with you. The fact is that I need you to have a brain, this is not “a good to have”, this is a necessity, but come on, Darwinism applies to my gender as well. Natural selection does come into play and if you don’t turn me on at a physical level, let’s not kid ourselves – it’s just not going to happen.
8. We understand that you guys love your mama’s who love their boys and seriously, we aren’t jealous. We understand that there are things only your mama can do for you if you’re a son and truthfully we’re happy because that means we don’t have to do it for you, so no stepping on anyone’s toes here. But please understand that we love our Daddy’s just as much and if they’re a little harsh because they know what you’re thinking because they’ve been there and done that, just deal with it because we were Daddy’s little girls before we became yours.
9. I once heard someone say that when he wakes up in the morning and sees his partner lying besides him, he doesn’t exclaim “wow, what a beautiful brain you have!” Guess what? Neither do we; but I tend to understand that your looks and associated body parts are likely to wane and sag in the not too distant future, so all I have is your personality for the rest of my life (and if you’re Hindu like me, for about seven lifetimes!) so yes, I need something between your ears to retain my already short attention span.
10. Hmm, though the above is a good blueprint for me, there are some aspects of a guy’s personality that are an absolute killer. Ethics, loyalty, sensitivity, humanitarian and overall being a good human being is what bowls me over all the time, every time. If a guy is a decent person who seriously cares, and I mean actually cares for me, he could be skimpy on most of the above and I’m hooked. Contrary to popular belief, most girls don’t need money, or jewellery, or any other materialistic lifeless object – seriously, a stroll in the park followed by a picnic that has nothing more than a couple of slices of bread and butter with water for our parched throats are going to suffice to keep me in love for forever.
Not too much to ask for, right? That’s what I keep on saying! So prospective hate mailers – bring it on! 🙂