Did You Check if I had Two Left Feet?

I’m not kidding.

I asked my mum this question the other day and she gave me her characteristic “if I’d only known, I may have decided otherwise” look she often gives me when I question her, just before her trademark roll of her big, brown eyes.

I’ve been taunted for my Two Left Feet syndrome for quite some years now and I have only recently began to brandish them to the World with pride.

This is due, largely, to my newfound appreciation for being a walking disaster.

Why? I hear you ask (I’m ignoring the slightly sarcastic tone I hear as well), so please allow me to educate you on the behalf of all Two Left Feet inflicted human beings (and animals – because my Dog, Dashy Boy had four of them. But that’s another story).

  1. I can bask in the glory of falling everywhere, from famous monuments, like the Louvre and the Taj Mahal to more mundane areas like my school bus stop without fail, mind you, every single Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.
  2. Competing the caricature move with elegance and poise. No one, I repeat, no one can fall as fluidly in a skirt as I  can. Except perhaps my sister. What can I say, it runs in the family.
  3. Not being embarrassed at anything anymore. After succumbing to the fact that I will always, and I really do mean always, fall right in front of the hottest guy in the universe at each and every stage (and never in their lap like the Fairy tales falsely predict), I find that nothing can quite bring a rosiness to my cheeks any more. On the downside, this does mean I have to spend more on makeup but at least its easier on my nervous system and internal organs.

And there you have it, why two left feet is a blessing rather than a curse. You can provide more statistical research in the comments section below if you wish. I’ll even cite your expert opinion in the PhD Thesis I’m planning on completing on the topic …

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2 thoughts on “Did You Check if I had Two Left Feet?

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