Firstly, if you are a Peeping Tom, let me officially reprimand you. It’s not good.
Now that my civic duty has been adequately fulfilled the way all “civic” duties are in the 21st century (i.e. pretending to give a s#@t when I clearly couldn’t care less because it’s not affecting me – shameful I know, but another blog post regardless) , let me clear this title up for you a little. I can’t promise I’ll do anything of the sort but I’ll give it a shot anyway.
I got to thinking why Tom was such a sleazebag the other day. Was it his mother’s complacent rearing or his father’s lecherous late nights at the office. Could it be that poor little Tom had fallen in with the wrong crowd when still an innocent babe and had his mind welded into corrupt caricatures on how to pick up women? Or did Tom just happen to be lost in space, thinking about the ways he may escape Mr. Shufflebotham’s wrath when he admitted he had forgotten to complete his maths homework, while peering into his next door neighbour’s bathroom when Mrs. Roly-Poly was you know, doing what people do in the bathroom.
I even got to thinking about whether it was actually Jack who had pulled a reluctant Tom onto the old Pears Soap Cardboard Box the local grocer had thrown away as he shifted himself onto his tiptoes to do his lewd work on Mrs. Roly-Poly instead. Poor Tom, if only he had been as quick to run as Jack had, perhaps we would have associated the lack of a suitable moral compass with Peeping Jack instead.
As you can appreciate (I’m sure), the endless possibilities were doing my head in so I brought up my trusted Google and set out to solve this complicated and pressing mystery. For once, I must admit, the actual literal version of how Tom came to be prefixed with Peeping is actually much more interesting than any of my versions. I know, it sux but such is the way of life.
Damn, I hate not being the most intelligent person in the Universe but I console myself by believing it’s someone else’s fault instead of mine, like many of my generation living in these times. But that again, is another blog post.