My sister and I went out to dinner Friday night (seems like an eternity ago but I think that may be due to my Mondayitis but whatever).
We came across a billboard for funerals and in an effort to silence our grumbling stomachs in the car on the way there we decided to exercise my marketing prowess (or lack of it) and come up with some slogans or punchlines.
Turns out, there are some one-liners that are pure perfection for anyone in this business, so funeral directors, listen carefully. For all the rest of us in mundane businesses like mine, we definitely have our work cut out for us.
Disclaimer: If you’re feeling particularly depressed today or death is a sore subject at the moment, please give this one a pass …
So, without much ado, here’s what we came up with:
Simply Funerals – With Customer Service like ours you’ll never go back.
Simply Funerals – We bring a whole new meaning to a Customer for Life.
Simply Funerals – Once you’re with us, you’ll never go back. Anywhere.
Simply Funerals – You’ll be so happy with us, you’ll never want a refund.
Simply Funerals (for the cremation options) – We can promise you, you’ll be going out with a Bang.
Simply Funerals (for the cremation options) – As a bonus, free fireworks for family and friends.
Simply Funerals – Refer a friend BEFORE you use our service and get two for the price of one
I know, I know, it’s crass but hunger apparently doesn’t bring out the best in the Sharma sisters. Or, does it? I guess it depends on the angle you’re looking at it from – six feet under or above …
Any of you lovely people care to add onto the list?
How is it that we can seriously, I mean, seriouslyconsider Trump to be a viable option?
How do these people even make it as far as they do and why hasn’t anyone put a muzzle on the guy yet.
I blame us. I really do. Obviously we’re doing something to encourage these idiots to perhaps lead us one day when the guy clearly can’t see he’s wearing his toupee back to front.
We are in some serious need of h-e-l-p. I’m not surprised The Aliens haven’t taken us over yet, I mean considering that this guy has potentially made it to the top of the world’s superpower I’m sure they’re up there going, “I’m not touching that”.
I swear, this is a viable condition often experienced by Writer’s in winter. It’s called Frozen Writer’s block. There’s no cure except for gluttonous extreme vegetation in front of the BBC channel for inspiration.
You know that saying, one girl’s loss is another one’s gain. You’re welcome, another week free of punishment from my brain. Don’t say I don’t give you anything.
Disclaimer: For faster results, attack the virus with a never ending supply of buttered popcorn and unhealthy salt and fake cheese infused Cheese and Bacon Balls.
Let me know if you want my address or I could just lie here with my mouth open and you can pelt junk food into it. See, there’s a positive to everything – even Frozen Writer’s Block.
If it’s been done before then you can do it too. If not, you can be the first. Nothing’s impossible!
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to do something or I’ve started a discussion about doing something and I’m met with that blank, “what the hell is wrong with you?” stare.
Inevitably, this is followed by the “what can one person do?” question, which is what gets me thinking. What can one person do?
Have you ever witnessed a cup filled to the absolute brim and then you pour just one, single drop of water and it overflows? That is what one person can do. You can be the catalyst for change, change in your broader community, change in one person’s mind-set but change nevertheless. It’s up to you to make that change positive or negative.
My mum directed my attention to this wonderful initiative called GetUp over the weekend and let me just say I’m hooked! Not to mention slightly envious of the two people who thought this wonderful concept up, damn, why didn’t I? 😀
It’s really brilliant and if anything, it warms the heart to know that there are others (A LOT more than one single drop in the ocean) that feel a similar way that you do – they care.