Tag Archives: pain

Why clumsy people shouldn’t get pierced


I had ten piercings before I got an industrial one in my right ear over the weekend so naturally, you could hardly be blamed for thinking that I should know better by now, right?

Wrong.

How the hell anyone with two fresh, brand new holes in their ear would decide to go and get the phone cord intricately wrapped around their newest piercing after being as “experienced” as I am in this department is beyond me. Really.

The excruciating pain experienced is one of those rare circumstances where words will miserably fall short. The term vivisection, a humungous understatement. It was like having The Little Mermaid’s main villain, Ursula’s tentacles wrapped around my ear for an eternity, refusing to relent unless I gave her my soul.

Just take the ear, will you?

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Being Good can be Painful …

So, I was a good girl yesterday and finally decided to bravely jump onto the treadmill at my gym after a four week sabbatical.

Let me just say, if you aren’t particularly fond of tragic endings – to stop reading now.

After a horrendous ten minutes (is it just me, or does time conspire to travel at a MUCH slower rate when you’re on the brink of passing out due to a lack of oxygen consumption?), I have made the following discovery:

1. You should be able to sue Mother Nature for feeling as much pain as exercise causes you.

2. There are muscle groups you really, truly should not be able to feel as a general, unarguable rule. In fact, I would like to put a petition in to eradicate them due to their detrimental repercussions. Just like our Appendix.

3. I’d like to also be able to freely reprimand whoever created the wonderful, albeit, sometimes frustratingly useless human appendages we have all been forcefully “gifted”. Don’t get me wrong, I am very grateful for all of them, I would just like to revisit the pain sensors blueprint please. Pronto.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go check if my thighs are still attached to the rest of me.