Tag Archives: random thoughts

Casper

Simply Funerals …

My sister and I went out to dinner Friday night (seems like an eternity ago but I think that may be due to my Mondayitis but whatever).

Anyhow …

We came across a billboard for funerals and in an effort to silence our grumbling stomachs in the car on the way there we decided to exercise my marketing prowess (or lack of it) and come up with some slogans or punchlines.

Turns out, there are some one-liners that are pure perfection for anyone in this business, so funeral directors, listen carefully. For all the rest of us in mundane businesses like mine, we definitely have our work cut out for us.

Disclaimer: If you’re feeling particularly depressed today or death is a sore subject at the moment, please give this one a pass …

So, without much ado, here’s what we came up with:

  1. Simply Funerals – With Customer Service like ours you’ll never go back.
  2. Simply Funerals – We bring a whole new meaning to a Customer for Life.
  3. Simply Funerals – Once you’re with us, you’ll never go back. Anywhere.
  4. Simply Funerals – You’ll be so happy with us, you’ll never want a refund.
  5. Simply Funerals (for the cremation options) – We can promise you, you’ll be going out with a Bang.
  6. Simply Funerals (for the cremation options) – As a bonus, free fireworks for family and friends.
  7. Simply Funerals – Refer a friend BEFORE you use our service and get two for the price of one

I know, I know, it’s crass but hunger apparently doesn’t bring out the best in the Sharma sisters. Or, does it? I guess it depends on the angle you’re looking at it from – six feet under or above …

Any of you lovely people care to add onto the list?

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