Tag Archives: writing ideas

I’m Sorry …

… for being so absent lately.

Though it isn’t an excuse, I’ll fall back on that dismal aspect of human nature and attempt to absolve myself of any wrongdoings by providing you with an adequate 3 point resource on how it’s really not my fault.

Point 1 – I’ve been so busy that if I were a Troll protecting the make believe bridge to Narnia I just made up right now, well, Narnia would no longer be Narnia – it would be the next best holiday destination. I have been writing though, about an article a week but woe is me, much of my time is taken up in maintaining active social media accounts for work.

You need a Twitter, Facebook or Google + guru right now, don’t look at me. I’m fresh out of ideas.

Point 2 – I have seriously pissed karma off and I don’t even know what I did. The amount of minor mishaps I have had with my skeleton over the past month would be enough to fill up a small encyclopaedia. Seriously. From toe injuries to wrist massacring’s, it’s a wonder I still resemble a human body. Fine, maybe not an encyclopaedia but a good weekend read in a grubby motel off Highway 5. At least.

Point 3 – I blame Trump because well, why wouldn’t you?

I don’t think history has ever provided us with such an apt “he is the cause of everything that’s wrong in this world, my life and this entire solar system really” excuse, people. Ever.

I am not kidding. It’s every man, woman and child for themselves and I can’t even copyright this one. Take it. Run with it.

I’ve been busy because Trump exists.

With that being said, I make no promises except an absolute true declaration – I have missed all of you. Truly.

I’ll try and make it up for it and write some more, or at least be more present if my fingers remain from that biyatch injury infliction.

I hope you’re listening karma. I’m a Hindu and I ain’t going anywhere so let’s try and be friends, okay? Or at least civil.

See you soon my peeps xoxo

You know how they say you never forget how to ride a bike? Well …

… I thought I’d try this very theory with my supposed creative inspiration for my immensely shameful lack of writing ideas the past few days, so I sat in front of my computer and randomly tapped my keyboard frantically begging for a reprieve. This is what I came up with:

“kjewnfkeagjaoirej ;aaeoig a;orijgajkfng afv ;oairdjg akdrjg akrdjv ;ardgvhaknsemfd asdgvkj ajkdsghakesjgnjkasef ESUF ADSUKHGKADSJ AKSDJ Kkjs vkfj fvkjdafh akfdj ksfdjng ksdjnvkajwaov dvzj kdfzv”

As I fear plagiarism attacks against me, I’ve decided only to post a snippet of my wonderful work. As you can see, the metaphor is completely false, just because you once knew how to ride a bike,┬áit doesn’t necessarily infer you won’t crash and burn down the line. Guess it’s back to the drawing board for me!