Dear Spammers – Inappropriate “Male Part Enhancement” Conglomerates, “Blood Sucking” Telecommunication Corporations & “No Good” Energy Door Knockers …

… Can you all please collectively refrain from sending me any more “Mister” correspondences?

Okay, so my parents forbiddingly decided to name me something “unique” and “innovative” and had they known of the cross I was going to bear for the rest of my life … would have probably done nothing different, but seriously?

How does Mituri sound like a boy’s name? My daddy chose it for his daughter after meeting a Japanese comrade who called his fiancé it while working as a rookie Marketing Manager in the Middle East after discovering it meant “My Love” – how is that masculine? Granted, having met Japanese people subsequently, we have found that the name means Jade or something as mundane as green, so there is a possibility my father was smoking something a little more than his usual (at the time) Marlboro’s but I prefer the original version anyway.

Is it the Pradip (my dad’s name) after my forename? Still though, how does Mituri conjure up images of weightlifters chest bumping?

And finally, Adrianna, can you please stop spamming me with tantalising promises of dancing around your bed in impractical clothing? I’m not a guy and if that doesn’t matter, I just don’t swing that way (though, in line with the famous lines of Seinfeld – not that there’s anything wrong with that). Even though I am flattered, I do admire your persistence, it’s been 8 years and if you haven’t got the hint yet, here is a polite no but I would like to get a little of what you have. 21 for 8 years, that is an achievement.

Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go check who my dad’s supplier is. Business people, business … sheesh.

I hope you admired that shameless plug I just put in there for my corporation 😉

Have a GR8 weekend beautiful people!!!